Be one of the cool kids this summer and get yourself a pair of Whaleshark shorts (white with grey logo). They will make you faster and more attractive to your secret crush. Also, they magically make your thumber much better. Plus I'm pretty sure Chuck Norris owns like 10 pairs.
Need to hit the magic number of 12 and about a 1/3 of the way there. Cost will be in the $25 range. I can ship for an added cost. Lemme know if you're interested: